Decide on Your Heart
by Angel Leviathan
Summary: He is unconscious for the first four days right alongside her.


Title: Decide on Your Heart (When its Time)

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: None…I think.

Season: 2

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.

Notes: None.

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He is unconscious for the first four days right alongside her. He wakes to discover Teyla has a broken arm, Rodney has suffered two gunshot wounds, and Ronon has a new array of knife wounds to add to his collection. Including a scar that runs from eyebrow to cheekbone, a wound John strangely remembers having to watch being inflicted. He knows she is still unconscious, and not because he can hear a heart monitor that isn't his own beside him, but because they are not completely relieved at his waking. They are still waiting for her. 

He spends the next week bothering Carson to the point of vanishing from the Infirmary altogether, but the man can hardly berate him when he discovers that he left only to retrieve a book and finds him reading in broken German to the woman beside him, who has only regained consciousness twice in the past seven days. They have decided to keep her in a medically induced coma, for they fear she would do more damage were she awake and trying to recover. She always was stubborn.

John spends the second week learning that Teyla and Ronon still spar, even with their respective injuries, that she wont let a broken arm stop her and that he won't let her go easy on him, even if he's limping. He learns that Rodney is being surprisingly brave about his wounds and hasn't muttered a word of complaint since leaving the Infirmary. He knows the scientist is distracted, for he loves the woman in the bed like a sister and would very likely blame himself if she dies. But who wouldn't? They were all there.

For the last few days of that week, she is allowed to remain conscious, and they know they were right in keeping her medicated and sedated, for even though she must be in a great deal of pain, she refuses to let it show. She looks a state. She can barely move and talk even less. Elizabeth is tired and even though she struggles, cannot remain conscious for more than a few minutes at a time. It frustrates her to the point of tears that she cannot hold back. She knows they are all there for her, and seeing what they went through to rescue her breaks her heart. She knows they will heal and knows she wouldn't think twice if it had been them in her situation, but cannot escape the guilt.

John is found in her Infirmary bed the next week. Both sound asleep, Elizabeth cradled against him. He couldn't bear the silent tears, the set jaw and the still stubborn refusal to cry out that left her whimpering, cursing her weakness, any longer. Carson has given her all the painkillers he dares to administer and has been found asleep at his desk, or by her bed, on more than one occasion. Some say the shattered pane of glass from his office was his own doing, venting frustration. John is found in her bed in the morning and he doesn't care. He had to do something, even if was just hold her, even if that in itself caused her more pain. She slept, and that was what mattered. Her broken and battered body is slowly starting to heal itself, which will eventually bring relief, but for the moment means she is in agony whenever she is conscious. They've debated putting her back in the coma. But she glares her defiance and they know she won't forgive them if they dare try it.

She finds herself able to make conversation the next month. Not for prolonged periods of time, and her visitors refuse to discuss anything of great consequence with her, but its enough, for now. John sneaks into the Infirmary at night and tells her everything the others refuse to. He knows she hates being kept in the dark and would likely only stress herself out further if she didn't know what she claims she should. Elizabeth can move more freely and the constant pain is starting to die down. Some of her cuts have healed, but the bruises, horrific bruises, are still evident. Carson has told her she is lucky no break-damage was done to her legs; for if it had been, she would have had to have major surgery on her knee again, possibly leaving her with restricted use. She thanks whatever gods exist that she is only as battered as she is and tells herself that she must be alive if she can still feel such pain.

He kisses her the next month. He tells her everything he didn't dare whilst she was still in serious danger of not making a recovery. He's a little surprised when she kisses him back but certainly doesn't complain. She states she is ugly and proffers a scar covered arm, still shades of angry red, as evidence. He tells her she's the most beautiful woman he's ever known. Elizabeth smiles and accuses him of always knowing the right thing to say. But he doesn't smile back, and only says softly that it's the truth.

Teyla spends the next week with her, telling her of every Athosian myth and tale she can think of. She also reveals they have an ancient language unique to their people, speaks in it and gives Elizabeth frustratingly small amounts of information as to how it works. When accused of teasing her, she only smiles and states it is something she will have to get well to learn. And when she is, Teyla will teach her. Elizabeth laughs when she discovers that she has taught Rodney to curse in the language, if only to stop him swearing at his science team in a language they can understand.

She's seen in the command centre in two weeks time. Stunned exclamations and a round of applause greet her on her arrival. John walks from her office, face set in stone, almost angry with her. He asks if she's fallen or if she's in any pain. She replies she's always in pain, and that what would a little more do to harm her? She only wanted to see her people, her city again. Elizabeth is allowed to remain for twenty minutes, before being taken back to the Infirmary. John tries to carry her, but she bats his hands away, determined to make the short trip herself. She's berated for an hour by both Carson and John, but, she insists, it was worth it. She knows everything is still in order and everyone is in good spirits. More than worth the coughing fit she has later that night.

The next month she is released back to her quarters, but not allowed back on duty. She is still frighteningly fragile and getting rather frustrated that people are treating her as if she is made of glass. She knows John watches over her, but he doesn't dare condescend or try to help her any longer. They make love late one night, and though he is mindful of causing her pain, she loves him all the more for not treating her as if she were a broken doll, but as a woman, and more importantly, as the woman he loves.

Elizabeth is back on duty a week before Rodney discovers three Wraith cruisers heading in Atlantis' direction. There is no trace that she was ever thoroughly broken and not even a twitch as she eyes daggers at the red blips on the screen that threaten her city. She orders her best team on recon and no one dares question her when she doesn't sleep until their return two days later. And that, she knows, means her body might betray her, she might still bear the scars of her injuries, but she's back. And they trust she never weakened in the slightest.

**Fin**


End file.
